Hello. It’s Brett Campbell here and today we’re going to be talking about how you can have bar graded relationships, okay?
How you can have relationships that just mean so much to you and so much to the other person that everything else just doesn’t seem to matter. Now you know that feeling, right? You’re watching this and I hope you’ve had that feeling before of being in love with someone.
You know when you’re in that moment, you’re just like, “I just love that person so much” or, “I’m infatuated with them so much” everything else around you just doesn’t seem to be an issue, right? Imagine being able to have that type of love energy in your relationships.
In your friendships, in your relationships with your children, your parents, your spouse. Whatever area, it doesn’t really matter. These fundamentals and the strategies I’m going to share with you right now apply regardless. Before we get into this I want you to look at your relationships. What relationships do you currently have? Are you father, are you a mother? Are you a sister, a brother?
Are you in a relationship? Are you a husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend? Whatever, boyfriend and boyfriend, girlfriend and girlfriend. Whatever it is, I want you to write a list of the roles that you currently have in your life. I’d like you just to pick one or two right now, but I want you to eventually go through this entire process and ensure that you follow these strategies for each relationship.
Again, take yourself back to that moment when you’re just so infatuated, you’re so in love, just everything in the world just seems to not even be a worry. I hope you can really take that and build upon this. Let’s look at your spouse for an example. We’re just going to use this as an example.
Again, like I said, all these fundamentals apply regardless. What things do you do currently, right now, that you would class as working on your relationship? Think about this. We talk in business terms, we say, “Working on your business, not in your business.”
Same rule applies with the relationships. Working on your relationship, not in your relationship, because what can happen is when you’re in a spousal relationship…
To give you a little bit of a background about me, because who’s this guy standing here talking about relationships is, I’ve been with my now wife for seven years and we just recently got married, which we’re extremely excited about. She was very excited about it. So was I, of course. I have been in a relationship, I’ve gone through the ups and downs.
Like every relationship, there’s no perfect relationship out there. Look, anyone who tells you they are, then you know what? Good on them, but I don’t know anyone who can say they’re just in a perfect relationship, there’s no wave, ups and downs, because what happens is, you’re in the relationship, not working on it. Think about that. What things are you currently doing to work on your relationship?
A few examples that I use that I hope you can take away and use is, I like to do surprises. Every so often, I don’t have a strategy where like once a week I’ll do a surprise on a certain day or time, because you want to make it unpredictable. I write little love notes and leave them around the house.
Now most people have been in relationships for seven years or more, probably after six months you’d probably stop that because I know I did. When I first started our relationship it was like, “Yeah, I’m working really hard at this.” I was working on it, I was working on it. Then you start to get comfortable.
You know what I’m saying. If you’re in a relationship you start to get comfortable and then all of a sudden you’re like, “You know what? I want more from this. I want to make this great. I want to have that feeling that I had at the start of this relationship.”
You know that feeling if you’ve got a younger brother or sister now born in you, holding him in your hand. “Oh, God, this is my brother.” Do you have that feeling right now for them? Really, do you? Let’s get that back. Do surprises. Don’t send your brother or sister love letters.
Well, you could, but it’d be pretty weird. What could you do? Could you write them a “thank you for being my brother” note? Could you send that to them? Could you send them a gift? Could you do random things? Another example is, I get my white board and I write big messages on it. As soon as Emily comes through the front door, the first thing she sees is this white board.
Simple, doesn’t cost a cent, but the thought, I can tell you, the thought is worth thousands of dollars to me, pretty much. You know what they say, happy wife, happy life. Whoever come up with that, they’re certainly on to it.
What things that you’re doing right now to spice up your relationships, to work on your relationships? Do you get on the phone and give your mother a call at least once a month? Come on, if you’re not doing that, I highly encourage you. If you don’t, if your mother’s no longer around unfortunately, who else in your world could you do that to? Your friends.
Do you organise dates with your friends? You go, “Hey, man. Let’s go catch up here. We’ll hang out. We’ll just have a coffee. We’ll chat about life.” When was the last time you did that? That’s what I want you to think. When was the last time you did that? If you’ve just recently done that, man, good on you. Pat yourself on the back and I encourage you to take that to the next level. What else could you add? How can you have greater relationships, because to have great relationships you need to care. You must care that you play about that person.
If you have lost that feeling, you need to go back and find it. If you don’t have that and you don’t want to go find it, you need to move that relationship on. Some people come into your life for certain reasons. Some people stay forever, some people are there just for that moment or a few moments. You need to decide.
You don’t need a thousand friends. We don’t need a thousand friends. All right? You need a core group of individuals who are there to support you and for you to also support. Your network is crucial when it comes to your success in love, success in any area because there’s nothing greater than being able to get on the phone and say, “Hey, I’d love to talk to you about this. I’m struggling with this” or, “I’m not feeling so good about this. Can you help me out?”
The only time that those relationships will start to grow and start to ignite into something purposeful or meaningful is if you work on it. I want you to take this messaging out.
Who is one or two people that I can go and do something for right now?
Go online, go to Amazon. Go and buy a pair of shoes or something and send it to them. Go and buy some flowers and get it sent to them. Just surprise them. I guarantee you just in that act itself, you’re going to see transformation or results. You’ll see your relationship go to the next level.
Every month I send out an SMS. Again, not on schedule, but I’ll send out an SMS to some core people who have really helped change my life, my mindset, and people who I truly, deeply care about. I’ll send them an SMS and let them know that. Let them know that. Just in the act of me sending it, man, I feel great.
I don’t even need a reply because I feel great in the act of doing it. I leave you with that. Are you working in your relationships or are you working on your relationships?
Until next time. I’m Brett Campbell. Go out there. Live with intention, love with passion and never give up on your dreams.